By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
