with your own penis?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
