it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
