It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
