its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
