I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
