brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
