I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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