i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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