Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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