she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
