my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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