am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
