there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize