yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
