I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize