oh god the rape fog is back!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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