you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
