I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
