You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
