So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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