awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
