Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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