Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital

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(816): View more from Missouri

So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeeah thank god

(816): View more from Missouri

Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.

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(425): View more from Washington

Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me

(1-425): View more from Washington

Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.

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(917): View more from New York City

hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever

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(217): View more from Illinois

He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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(216): View more from Ohio

You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor

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(360): View more from Washington

You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.

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