I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
