Where is the hickey?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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