i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
