It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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