he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
