exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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