No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
