also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
