i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
