Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
