drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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