I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
