Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
