sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
