I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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