Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
