So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pants are for mortals
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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