I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
