I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
