It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
