Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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