Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
