I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
