bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
