Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
