Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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