Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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