Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
