i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
