dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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