It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
