Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
