tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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