My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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