so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
