Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
