She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
